There was always going to be a puzzling element to this year’s Warrnambool tournament. The Big V men were confined to such a fate from the outset.
A deluge of people to Victoria’s south west left us scrambling for accommodation in the weeks leading up (Naturally, our female counterparts displayed characteristic organisation, securing the accommodation we had the previous year). But that wasn’t it. Nor was it the mysterious role reversal between the now seemingly responsible Bozzle and more cavalier Jen Naughton. It can’t just have been the increasingly sensual beards of Alex Godina and Jack R-W or their panoply of slick basketball moves. It wasn’t just the impressive newcomers we acquired either. Allow me to attempt to describe the indescribable.
When I glanced at the fixture for the first time I noticed a lot of regularity in the A grade men’s competition; Melbourne Uni, Warrnambool Seahawks and the Melbourne Ballers were all to be expected. Then there was the “Gramblers”. My immediate response was “Zounds! What in the name of Jonah’s ghost is a Grambler!?”
An answer with any remote certainty wasn’t apparent throughout the tournament. When a member of this outfit (who had about as much basketball talent as Rob Schneider has acting ability) was asked what a Grambler was, he couldn’t offer any explanation. It was my suspicion - my gut feel if you will - that the underlying spirit of the Warrnambool tournament is embodied in whatever a Grambler actually is. Academic circles are divided on this issue as modern archaeology has failed to shed any light. Hence, I am committed here to uncovering some truth.
Perhaps a Grambler is the dominance that Melbourne Uni and affiliates displayed on court. For instance, the A-grade womens final was played between the two Melbourne uni sides, with Caitlin Delahunty’s team taking out the final. The usual suspects were up to their old tricks; some examples include Mel Fidler’s impeccable short corner jumper, Caitlyn Mackenzie crashing into and through people en route to the basket and Rhia nailing shots from all spots. It was also a welcome sight to see Maree de Wijn climb off a plane from Canada the day before and put on a clinic of drop steps and step throughs which Vlade Divac would’ve been proud of.
The A-Grade men had a similar tale – Uni vs Ballers in the grand final. However, the Ballers got in by the skin of their teeth. They had an absolute Grambler of a situation on their hands in their semi final match up against none other than that eclectic bunch of lemons themselves - the Gramblers. They quite possibly could’ve played blind folded, carrying buckets of cement, riding baby giraffes and wearing banana scented chicken outfits and still taken care of the Gramblers, but they were less than 30 seconds away from forfeiting the match by being too late. They just made it and ended up winning both their finals to take the title. It was a joy however to see the invincible Scott Cuffe blocked by our young prodigy Jerry “Swaggy Pineapple” Amoah.
The A-reserve men’s title was once again taken out by Smoke, Fids and their team Breakaway. Their usual veteran tricks surfaced on their way to a well fought tournament win. I also managed to see the reunion of Cosmo (Damo and Cozzy) and their usual high scoring, quality shooting and steal-generating brand of basketball.
A Grambler can’t possibly be the regularity of Melbourne Uni’s on court dominance at this event – otherwise we’d have heard of it already. Perhaps it’s an utter farce, such as the ending to one of the B grade women’s games. With under a minute to play they were trailing by 3 points before a minor disagreement regarding a reffing call exploded into four technical fouls. Caitlyn Hallett coolly slotted 6 of 8 ensuing freethrows to guide them to victory. Unfortunately both B Grade women’s sides didn’t make the finals – naturally Big V players with their colossal egos entered themselves in B Grade. One of the teams needed to score five more points to make up the percentage deficit that kept them out of finals– could this abandonment of luck be a Grambler?
As expected, Warrnambool was also bountiful in exotic revelry – maybe in this jungle of light hearted shenanigans and outings lies the meaning of a Grambler. Predrinks were held nightly in the twin townhouses organised by the Naughtons, Anj, Sof, Amanda and co (I was most kindly offered some quality floorspace here). Rookie initiations are always a treat and a new addition to the men’s program, Mike “Mr Swaggy Djibouti”, revealed some fascinating times he had in the American Navy in the annual “never have I ever” game. Djibouti also comfortably won the push-up challenge much to the approval of last year’s winner Callum “Chin ups on the ring” Repper.
Another comical affair was the mass introduction to our latest drinking game craze named ‘boom’ – thank you Philpot. Carla, Nath Luke and Bec Wardle unfortunately didn’t quite grasp the fine touch required and not knowing their own strength sent the ping pong ball flying into full cups with stunning consistency. I would certainly love to see them give it another go, however.
The Gallery provided its usual splendour. Our esteemed men’s coach Mr Roller couldn’t enjoy his entire first night owing to an untimely ‘illness’ and the eagle-eyed bouncers and their CCTV but was certainly a fixture for the remaining evenings. We are indeed an intimate bunch, but I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw Philpot and Scott Cuffe lock lips – Philpot claims to have gotten a free drink out of the exchange. We all knew the spirit was truly alive when when Jack “CQ” “Shaq Diesel” “Shaq Fu” Railton-Woodcock was sighted on the d-floor past midnight. Also incredible was the works of new women’s recruit Sarah Pizzy, Baz, Damo and Claire on the pole upstairs – Damo in particular had a group of girls in awe while unsheathing a breathtaking array of pole-dancing moves.
Well despite thorough investigation all I can provide are some possible alternatives as to what a Grambler - or the underlying spirit of Warrnambool - is. Most likely it is a combination of all of the above; Melbourne Uni’s dominance on and off the court, the intimate bonding, the odd abandonment of luck, Bozzle’s forty five minute (no less) process to put his shoes on, farcical moments (such as when the tournament organisers at 10pm call you to tell you that you have a final in the morning then that morning inform you it’s cancelled), Fil Slisko and being pummelled in a wrestling match with Bernie are all part of the experience and spirit of the weekend. If indeed that is what a Grambler is, I hope for many Gramblers for the remainder of the year and may we all Gramble together soon.
And of course some of the week’s quotes:
“Claw, I think I’m going to be running in mud tomorrow” – Bozzle, regarding his prospective performance in our unexpected final, which ended up not happening.
“They have last year’s Warrnambool coach and five randoms. I don’t know what they’re doing in A-grade.” – An unimpressed Walker describing the Gramblers.
“Never have I ever been on Jersey Shore.” – Jovan, targeting Claudio with both a jibe and display of our collective jealousy.
Caitlyn Mackenzie’s remarkable entrance into that ‘never have I ever’ game – those there will know what I’m talking about.
“We were just sitting around at home then I turned to everyone and asked ‘boys don’t we have a game on now?’” – Masunda describes the conversation which took place amongst the ballers at 10am regarding their final match up against the Gramblers. Their game was meant to begin at 10am.